the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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