You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
