Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize