DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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