community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
