I think im going to throw up on grandma
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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