sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
