Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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