Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
