Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
just found out that she named her cat after me.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
