At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Randomize
