He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
