I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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