i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
50% drunk capacity currently
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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