New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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