loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
