We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Randomize