it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
