sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
