Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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