So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
