Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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