sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
