I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
