We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
