when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
This toilet bowl is my home.
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