operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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