Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
