what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
