And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
