We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
