yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
