Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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