My boss' voice literally gives me gas
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
