Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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