Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
babies were throwing up all over the place
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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