Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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