I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
