Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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