Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
