i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Randomize
