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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  i'm watching the fashion show on bravo

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  you're cheating on project runway?

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  if you can't score coke, you buy crack.

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.

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• (289): View more from Ontario

  For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)

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• (813): View more from Florida

  I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?

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• (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back

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• (276): View more from Virginia

  I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.

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• (518): View more from New York

  I'm not coming to work today because tequila

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