I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
