just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
