I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
