i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
