I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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