i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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