he wants to bone in the snuggie
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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