The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
