there was a trapeze. enough said
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
