I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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