I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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