I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
