Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
