But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
