Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
