If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize