The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
