...so i touched it.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
