so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
