So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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