I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Its about making memories worth repressing
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
