What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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