Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
